I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
