I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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