I can't watch pbs sober anymore
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
