so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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