You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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