Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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