i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
