i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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