She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize