Having a random hookup so left but love u
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
