You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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