Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
