i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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