if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
