your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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