For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
