ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
