i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
