Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
