I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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