After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
