It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize