so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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