THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
