your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
