he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
