do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize