Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just want to make out with him forever
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
