this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
