I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
