So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
