just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
