Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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