If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
