I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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