Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
