btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
