Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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