I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think your dad took our porno
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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