I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I intend to get homeless drunk
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
so much tequila, so little girl.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
