Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
