And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A bitchslap is in order.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
