that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
