no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
