Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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