They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i dont even know how to be here
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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