WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
