Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
