I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Two words: nipple clamps
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