The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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