and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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