sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This is classic penis vs brain.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
