yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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