Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize