I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
