So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
